Goodbye Old Friend

Last weekend a old Friend who was once very dear to me passed away. During my last couple years of high school I had three very close friends who I spent the majority of my spare time with. Tanya, Michelle and Stephanie. After high school we kind of went our separate ways. It happened gradually and before we knew it, it had been years. The above picture was taken at Steph's wedding in Sep of 2000. The last time I can recall us all being together is I believe in 2004 right before Steph moved to Fort Mac. Whenever I have traveled to Medicine Hat in recent years I have a thought in the back of my mind that it would be so nice to reconnect I should really try to plan a get together with these girls - and of course it never happened. Trips are always so rushed and then the kids came along and things got busier and busier. I am sad to say I missed the opportunity. I will never have it again. Stephanie passed away on December 22 at the age of 28 after a courageous battle with Cancer. I know that we really have not been close in the last 9 years and have talked only a handful of times and really besides a brief hello over facebook I don't believe we had talked at all since 2004. But my heart is heavy. I truly believed that one day we could reconnect. I have thought of Stephanie many times throughout the years and I hold many memories.

Tomorrow I will travel back to Medicine Hat for her Funeral. It just doesn't seem real. It will be a very hard emotional couple of days. Although I wish it was over happier occasions I have been able to reconnect with Tanya and Michelle. I have had a few long conversations with them both over the last couple of weeks and it has been great to have them back. These three women hold a very special place in my heart.

Why

Over the last couple of weeks I have been struggiling with the concept of young peoples bodies being savaged by Cancer specifically. I struggle to understand why God would let this happen and struggle further to understand why the Great healer does not heal. I can't say I am any closer to a grand realization but while talking to a friend this week she said something that has stuck with me this week. She pointed out the verse John 11:35 - Jesus Wept. I have been tossing that back and forth and read the chapter to put it into context. Why did Jesus weep? My friend and her wise husband believe perhaps because suffering and illness and diesease are not in his plan. That it saddens him and he weeps. This comforts me. Not saying it takes away my questions and that it makes it okay that I have a friend who is nearly defeated from Cancer. I am sad, I want Jesus to heal. I don't see a purpose and can't fathom what good comes from a man watching his wife suffer or another young man left a widow to raise his infant alone. But it comforts me a little to know that the God who created Steph is weeping at what is happening to her.

I have had this CD for a long time but forgot about it- it caught my ear while the ipod was on shuffle in the van.

GOD WEEPS TOO by ELI

This is for the man who never learned to read or write
he worked two jobs instead of going to school
I know it hurt you as a child, please remember all the while
That God weeps too

This is for the widow who now must sleep alone
When the memory of a kiss will have to do
Every night when she lays downyou can almost hear the sound
when God weeps too

God weeps too, God weeps too
Though we question Him for all that we go through
still it helps me to beleive and my faith it does relieve
Just to think that God weeps too

For every survivor of the wickedness of man
whether a black man or a Jew
some people kill in Jesus name
He is not the one to blame
cause even God weeps too

God weeps too, God weeps too
though we question Him for all that we go through
still it helps me to beleive and my faith it does relieve
just to think that God weeps too

Cancer Sucks

I have been pretty fortunate in the fact that Cancer has not personally touched my life until the last year. I have always heard of people with Cancer - somebody always knows somebody that has had it. Infact Fred's dad is a Cancer surviver. However he had it beat before I ever came into the picture.

The last year especially I feel like everywhere I turn there is Cancer, Cancer Cancer. I have a great Aunt who had Cancer and for a while it looked pretty grim - now as far as I know things are looking good. This was soon followed by my Great uncle Ron who was feeling under the weather for a bit thought he might have Pnemonia then Finally went to the Hospital to discover he had lung cancer and died within a week.

Around the time I was attending my great uncles funeral I connected with a old friend from Highschool days, she informed me that another once dear friend Steph had had ovarian Cancer but things seem to be in the clear.

Through facebook and through another friend from long ago I heard of yet another heart-wrenching journey through Cancer. This women I have never met but my heart is saddened - there story can be found at Sadly she just passed away this week.

Also this week we learned that Fred's Grandmother now has Cancer.

And finally tonight I received a call from a old friend to tell me that the other Friend Steph was not in the clear after-all - in fact far from it. Things are pretty bad. The tumors are all over and the her body is so weak from the fight that there is nothing more the Dr.'s can do.

Cancer Sucks . My heart is Sad

Post Makeover Celebrity Look a likes

Well at least there is no men! The power of a little makeup!

Pre Make over Celebrity Look a like

Kay so it is totally exciting that my #1 match was Katie Holmes, however not so impressed that there were 3 men

Takeover Makeover Part 2

Well the Makeover is complete and now the real work begins! It was easy to look good when somebody else did the shopping and hair and makeup. I have really only went out once since the makeover and I can't believe how much longer it takes to get ready! As I joked with Fred He likes the Eye Candy but not the process!

The makeover was a incredible experience and all the people I encountered were awesome. I love my new clothes and hairdo and even the makeup! Everybody was great about showing me how to do it so heopefully I will retain some knowledge! I really like looking good! The only down side to this makeover is the amount of money I will want to spend on clothes! Oh and the fact the most of the clothes that were bought are dryclean only!

So in the end I recieved
A pair of Black Dress pants
A pair of Jeans
Short sleeve black shirt
Long sleeve black shirt
Knit black sweater
Long Black sweater
A red Coat
Geox boots
a necklace
a belt
a hat

and then as a gift the stylist also gave me
a purse and two necklaces.

Troy the Hair guy also gifted me with about $100 in hair product!

I had mentioned on a break that we couldn't get into family photos because of the Christmas rush so at the end of the show Tara McCool asked if there was any photo place that could get us in- and the very nice folks at called the studio and shuffled there schedules to get us in! Not only did they get us in they gave us about $150 of free photos! And they did a awesome job and were so great with the kids!

What a AWESOME time! I am so Lucky!