My Anxiety

Time is going too fast..I have just over five months before I have to return to work. I am already filled with such dread at the thought of it. Every time I am in any little bit of traffic, I start to think about how bad it will be to drive to work everyday. I work for the city- in there 311 call centre. The office is in Whitehorn, I live in Chaparral. Yikes that is a long commute.

It is not the Job itself I dread - I actually enjoy the job. It is the rotating shift work, there is like 8 different start times ranging between 6:00 Am and 9:00PM they are open 24/7 and 365 days a year. The shifts are 10 hours so at least we only work 4 days a week. The six months that I went back to work between maternity leaves I found so stress full, and generally speaking I don't stress much. I find the rotating shifts really hard, especially with young children. It was hard enough then I knew it was only for six months.

Also the thought of having to leave my Children with a stranger again makes me feel kind of sick. It is not that our day home was bad - it wasn't otherwise I would not let Samantha continue, but there was things (especially the last month) that I did not like. It is the little things like diaper rashes and colds missing socks that I could do without. Also Samantha especially is so impressionable right now and I kind of like knowing what is being said/watched/listened to around her. As much as you think you can trust your day home provider - (unless you know them from before) how well do you really know them? Do they swear when they are frustrated? Do they talk on the phone a lot? Do they play favourites? Do they make kids wash there hands before eating and so on...

I have been searching the Internet everyday for any type of work I could do from home....so far no luck. There seems to be a lot of things advertised but they all seem like a scam to me. I don't think you should have to pay a start up fee to work from home. I don't want to start my own business, I would just like to work for somebody else. Some type of clerical work perhaps. I feel I have time in the day in which I could work but it is just a matter of finding it.

Anyways theses are my thoughts and what is giving me anxiety these days